Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
