There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
