I just made out with a guy for $7.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
