we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
