Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize