what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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