love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
