he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
