please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
