After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
