This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
