Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
