After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize