It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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