either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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