D3 body, D1 cock
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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