we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
