Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
