I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
