even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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