When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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