Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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