I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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