already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize