what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
