the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
