While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Rumble strips road head = magical
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
