so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize