clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
