I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want nice things and good sex
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
