is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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