It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
