Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
