This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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