Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
