Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
