Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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