Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
