the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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