Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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