You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
