ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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