I need help removing her.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
