College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
