hell yes lets make some ravioli
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
