he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
