DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
