He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize