i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
