i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
