Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
