I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
