and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
