Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
