Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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