Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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