I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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