My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize