Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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