the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
