is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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