Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No subtext here. People are naked.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
