All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
