Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
