did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Even my vagina gasped.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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