what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize