we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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