i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
babies were throwing up all over the place
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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