don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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