so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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